roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

why is liam baldy because his dad is too

um...... What's worse than 15 babies stapled to trees? sixteen babies staples to trees PS: I will stop posting if 3 people don't like this by tommarow.

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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