- Anti Joke

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I like to eat people

Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

Women