Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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How do u shit With ur ass

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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