What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Are you a human?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

thumb_up thumb_down

#scabbers

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

thumb_up thumb_down

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down

kiss me?

thumb_up thumb_down

girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What sucks? A: Straws

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops