What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

You want to hear a joke? Democract

see ya

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

What's white and very boney? A bone

What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

A black goes to college

Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

Bin Laden is dead.

Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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