why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Please spell dyslexia.

A jew went to Germany.

Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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