What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Why was danielle so fat? She can't help her bad genetics

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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