how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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wnba

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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don't look behind you

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops