Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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http://anti-joke.com/

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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