I have a crush on my dad.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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Hippopatomous!

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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i eat poop

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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