what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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mooooh im a cow

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

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Poverty.

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

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What's brown and sticky? Poop

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Guess what happened when a man took off his jumper?? He became cold!

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops