So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The NHL playoffs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guess what happened when a man took off his jumper?? He became cold!

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -200

Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

thumb_up thumb_down -112

what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops