A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Don't think of granny porn

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Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Dislike this

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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9/11

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PENlS.

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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