How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ham sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops