Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

You just won the game...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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