What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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