Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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Knock Knock Come in

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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Hey

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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