Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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That didn't hurt.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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