Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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I like to eat people

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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Kah-________-

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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Why was the black man scared to leave his house? Because he saw a load of mutated zombies outside his door trying to kill him. However, he realised that this was not possible and was not scared anymore. He went outside but got hit by a fridge and died...

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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