Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Dick spice

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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