Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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Women's Sports

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Do is the Most Famous Line on youtube Answer- Do the Flop

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Your social life

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Cows go moo.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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