What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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