When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Kah-________-

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the black man scared to leave his house? Because he saw a load of mutated zombies outside his door trying to kill him. However, he realised that this was not possible and was not scared anymore. He went outside but got hit by a fridge and died...

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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