What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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What do you eat when you watch porn? Corn

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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i eat poop

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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I grammer is gooder then yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops