Knock, knock. Come in.......

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Ha

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This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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b

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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