emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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poop

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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k

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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