Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops