Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

WILSON!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a retard lost...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops