2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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alert("The Game");//

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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