What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Potato.

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Romney 2012

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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