Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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George Bush.

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops