Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Penis.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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Penis-Pump

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Japan called... They need help.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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