You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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alert("The Game");//

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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