why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

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so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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whats brown? poop.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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WHO LIVES IN A TIN SHACK THUMB MOUNTNORIS ALCATRAZ MAGHBARREY MUSTARD GAS MILK STAIN REGESTERED S.O SCREAMS MADELINN SBB OPERATION SBB FREE MEAT SANTA GREASE 590 ENGLISH FOLDER SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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a black guy and a squirrel get hit on two different roads. whats is the difference? there are swerve marks by the squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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