helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

thumb_up thumb_down +33

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +25

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops