Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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PENlS.

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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women playing football?

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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