who is awesome? no one...

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why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

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What's 9 plus 10? 19

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Halo < COD

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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