Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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