I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Halo < COD

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Black Veil Brides.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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