Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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what is stupid and reading this you

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a black guy and a squirrel get hit on two different roads. whats is the difference? there are swerve marks by the squirrel.

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hi. thats what she said.

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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who farted your mother

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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