Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Smart Blondes

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Potato.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Romney 2012

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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save water shower with friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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