A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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