How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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you will now laugh.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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math test 2=2

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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What abou three times

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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