Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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