There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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The penn state football administration

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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Is this a chair?

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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The 19th Amendment

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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