My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Nah

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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I have no ideas.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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