How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +14

women

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Matty B

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Nice weather we're having.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

im a selling a car

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops