Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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I have no ideas.

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stop it ryan vallee

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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gay rights

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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