Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

What's the difference between a computer and a television?

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

Homework.

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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