A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

What's the difference between a computer and a television?

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

SC Johnson a Family Company

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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