That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i love huge wieners.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops