That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Women's rights...

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Vagina-Boob

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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